is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
