This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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