you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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