He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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