Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
