i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
