I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
