We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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