guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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