lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
