I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
