I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
