Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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