Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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