I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
honey bunches of taint.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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