Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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