i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How naked do you want me to be?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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