took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
