dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm passing your future prison.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
