i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
