i just wanna soil my oats bro
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He did a backflip because drugs
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
