I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
