the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im drinking this country out of the recession.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
