Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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