Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
