My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
