Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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