I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
