How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
