i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
