Sponge bath it is.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
