Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
