I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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