I'm eating all of the evidence.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
