Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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