I looked at my own cervix.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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