She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
