well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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