I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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