so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
