Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers