dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
