i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you