Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
