i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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