this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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