He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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