Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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