i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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