Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
