last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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