I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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