We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
