Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
