Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize