I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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