turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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