i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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