i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
