people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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