at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
