She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
