New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
