Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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