honey bunches of taint.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
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i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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