I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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