sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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