Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
