no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
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just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
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your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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